By Chip and Dan Heath from Seth Godin’s “What Matters Now”
A troubled teenager named Bobby was sent to see
his high-school counselor, John Murphy. Bobby
had been in trouble so many times that he was in
danger of being shipped off to a special facility for
kids with behavioral problems.
Most counselors would have discussed Bobby’s
problems with him, but Murphy didn’t.
MURPHY: Bobby, are there classes where you don’t get in
trouble?
BOBBY: I don’t get in trouble much in Ms. Smith’s class.
MURPHY: What’s different about Ms. Smith’s class?
Soon Murphy had some concrete answers: 1. Ms.
Smith greeted him at the door. 2. She checked to
make sure he understood his assignments. 3. She
gave him easier work to complete. (His other
teachers did none of the three.)
Now Murphy had a roadmap for change. He
advised Bobby’s other teachers to try these three
techniques. And suddenly, Bobby started behaving
better.
We’re wired to focus on what’s not working. But
Murphy asked, “What IS working, today, and how
can we do more of it?”
You’re probably trying to change things at home or
at work. Stop agonizing about what’s not working.
Instead, ask yourself, “What’s working well, right
now, and how can I do more of it?”
